mental scar

feels like im reaching out
towards i dunno what
from i dunno what

im, very lonely

finding home in elin/so youn

yet im still craving for
that masculine air
that i grew up in, my comfort zone..

feels like im reaching out
in many random direction
mistaken admiration, liking and desires

what have become of me?

im missing the home that i grew up in.

has the two years loving him with no return
caused a deeper mental scar?

im very lonely indeed;
i migh as well, be utterly

alone.