"time" .. the true suffocating elevation

'words' are out..
so ive been 'told'

'words' that travelled
through time and space
which is not there

'words' of my,
recent sadness

i know.
i just,
know..

my queen, the love composer
whom knew very little of what love is
than a mere believe..
which makes her the defender of our kind;
is at rage

my brahmana, the lover of life
is in pain himself as he who sees through me..
his Just eyes cries the tears i can not shed
of my own turmoil in living the truth.

...

my prayers were answered
exactly a week ago.

"magic is not within him.
magic (home) is with who has created me"

my repents is awaited
before the guardian angels can come down
to walk along side me
through the true cleared path
of what He who created me has intended upon me.

i am to leave my sinful worldly temptations behind me..
where redemption is not even in my place to questions

first sign of promise:
the gates of Mecca awaits me.

...

Ya hu Allah hu Akbar,
has it come down to this?
is this it? is this time?

the time i have negotiated all these years,
hiding behind my humanely rights?

my period has just finished.
i am about to take my wajib wash
and my repent prayer will come without saying..
where i shall repent as long as it takes for peace

...

today, i dreamt of the land of the desert,
an excursion to see the Mustangs and Stallions
in my dream i saw my father worries
that leads to a secret 'helping hand' force to protect me during my stay.
so the missing studies between the East and the West unravels.
in the dream, magic does not lay in the land of the desert.

in morocco i learnt
im living a life that is beyond the full reach
of those who delivers me on this earth..

so this, may be it.
this may be...

time


Ya Allah Ya Rabbi, the solely owner of Time
i am just a dust in the wind of life..
please, have mercy.. have me. Amien.