feels like

feels like the world is crumbling
apart into bits
of sharp objects
that flew and cuts me deep each time

feels like it is beyond my control
where it should actually be one of mine

feels like i need a new skin
a new face, a new life

feels like i wanna throw all away
so i can make something else

from scrap (out of crap)

why am i so weak Allah?
why am i that strong that i have to be where i am
that makes me that extra much more weaker?

why is this indulgement of self pity
where is not even my problem..
where the people involve in it can just
put their blind eye on it

why cant i?

even if i marry, get married
will i ever can cut loose the thread
and put a blind eye on them
as they are to themselves?

but that will be my biggest regret,
to not care..

why do life challanges me with extreeme values
even when i try to accepts imperfections

feels like im living the bling
where the heart is so ghetto

(get me out of here)

i need some acceptance
so i can bounce back..

but where do one begin?