i took the liberty of sunday to an extended rest. woke up at noon, had shower and fruits for breakfast, before i climbed back to bed with a dvd and a bucket of ice cream. i am in the attempt of regaining myself by writting this blog at 18.30.

debby's advice worked: how i have only a few months left till the end of the year and i shudnt waste it. it was hard at first.. dragging period. where i had to scrape myself back on foot, and do things just so each day light can turn back to dark. then of course there's the element of friends that wud influence you one way or the other. the hugs and teared eyes from them expressing whatever emotions i had in me that i cant digest. the hope and prayers did help me to bounce back. slowly.

before i realises, think i have becoming more in-tune. i mean, i hadnt even dwell much anymore in my long lost issue of quality and quantity. i just do things. more in a specific and controlled state of mind: juggling between expectation of quality/quantity, progress and finishings. i needed this redefinition to come in a peace of mind: so then i can start having a balance life of work and play. yes, i play more this year compared to my midget days of first years. my initial worries from going out and play didnt pay off, cuz i do need to careless about my school work.
somehow, having friends helped me in being more in tune.

even yet simplified, but the delicacy of mental exhaustion doesnt resolved just there. where quantity and quality has becoming a 'standardized' matter, to even fit the quota (of both) means we are sitting on a productivity platform of idealised high effectivity and efficiancy. that is a set of standard. then to gain that trump card during a presentation such as exam, is the icing decor you need to fill into your schedule. make your pick of finished styling between classical period, renaissance, or baroque..perhaps modern art. cuz anything less, means u are in the wrong school. all are to be digested and treated in standardised manner.

at noon mother called to tell me about her mini accident that happened this morning. involving blood and some down time to lay still in bed. but she has the will of iron bull, so she continued her day outside. such will doesnt go unnoticeable for it to be admired thus concerned to at the same time. before my mind had the chance to wondered away from my current exam priorities, i.e. by wishing to be close so i cud look after her wound, i paid my concern by falling back to sleep

today im exhausted. and exam week is not even yet effective until tomorrow.
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