i dreamt of you. you, what was once wonderfull you before you turned into my fears. thats how i dreamt of you, scary. you came back into my life, running with a vengeance. you let it all out, what seemed to be your recent fantasy of me: anger and hatered. you screamed at my face, demanding past promises, memoirs of ideals, dreams of hope. all of which, i ditch. yes, im guilty of. guilty of promises, guilty of sending you ideals, guilty of giving you hope, guilty of hearing but not listening. so i said nothing in my dream. i let you be, venting out your dissapointments. allow me be, if not at least for once, be your emotional decompression chamber. as what you have been, to me. i kept my silence, while you screamed all your heart content.in my dream, you'd hit me out of frustation, if you could. ah, now i remember, how much you hate me more by being in silence.

if i must say something,
if my dream is as real as it used to be,
if that means you are reading this,
then hear me out..

"im sorry for your ache. im sorry for the faults i mentioned. but dont make me sorry for knowing you. i ditched the situation we were in. we were in too deep, we forgotten what was what. i dont mean to ditch you. i dont need to see you any less than our first ever "hello". i still hope to see you shines. call it ego trippin', but i dont mean to doubt my senses about the faces of my life. so please do shines. just not together, our cross-path has ended.. long before we both realises it. blame me, if you must, for it was i who took the first step out. out of that circular miseries. do understand, it doesnt make me more. not even stronger than you. cause i too, later shaken by fear -haunted by my grieving thoughts of you. so off you go. collect yourself. 'tis been a year.. hear the distance tick tock of time calling your name, a reminder to move on. feel mother nature's embrace, she will guide you.. guide you back to where you belong. whoever that is, we both know is not with me. but please do take my last pre-packed luch box with you: inside is life's treasurable experiences that we once shared, perfectly wrapped in gold sheets, bowed with an edible string of prayers of your good health and future.. just incase, you get hungry along the way. feel free to nible on the bow.. but i suggest you dont open the much tempting gold wrap until you get to your next destination. take care!"

(you know who you are)