vertigo weekend

feminine
humanely grammatical error in placing the space, comma and fullstop..
especially in the context of 'satisfaction':
he came 2 hours away, dragged his friend along, drove a rented car -after just 4hours of sleep, danced his embarrasement nerves out in breaking some ice, filled my breakfast pantry, stroke my prayer matt, helped me made sure im taking all my medication, massaged my back, carried me on his back, hold my cold hands, priceless laughters later...
and i had to questioned him,
the question which got lost in the hidden desire of wanting more
deeper thoughts, stronger connection, more of you..

masculine
dearest Allah, what have become of me?
if the odd joke, 'attack is the best form of defense' than i am guilty of.
i cant seemed to escape the temptations to attacked with my very bits of masculine qualities,
a mere stupified mission of defense, from my own feelings towards him.
how many more cards shud i lay on the clear reflective table,
oh, nevermind how the chess board turns at this point,
how deep should i dig my own grave of vulnerabilities,
before i can admit
to the magnitude of Your greatest gift ever be?
for a girl whom dumb struck about love, i sure am falling pretty damn hard.

expectations meant to naturally grows;

along time -not against time.

permission to learn to be humble and to obide You, dearest Allah..
i wish to rest my all to noone but You . .

(clarifies my thoughts & senses )