chooses life over love

as we living breathing beings know, life is given.
nobody asks to be born.. let alone the to say when, where, how nor why.
we may cry all about it the moment we were born. and thats that. just live it!


until that one razzle dazzle growing up day of our lives came,
where we got teased on that darn four other little words:
l-o-v-e.
as if children really knows what the word even supposed to mean??
yet it bugs us so much, that we subconsciously embraced another word soon after:
h-a-t-e.
we were too young to not exploited our rights to be shallow and started to join the crowds and teased others, so we can feel like we belong.. somewhere. hah!


months and years gone by and we think of ourselves as cool.. among our mini grouplets
while loners adapt by developing thick skin to be comfortable with ourselves.
and thats cool too right? whatever gets us through the day..
since, by now we wud've learnt that we didn't cry in the instant we were born for nothing.
"practice makes perfect", wisemen says.
yes... haha! there are soo many reasons in life to cry about.
that's what makes life lively ainnit?


ludicrously love seemed to always been a 'thing'.
it somehow manages to continuously grow as a lucrative industry.
to name the obvious two: film and music
and everybody wants a piece of its gold..
from the indians, the americans, the europeans, the latinos, the koreans, the indonesians..!
yet have we really fully understood what love is? really?
some die not knowing, some cry trying, some sleep ignoring, some bleed fighting..


while mine... err, my path has put me through all three
and since i am still living breathing this so called lively life, id hope to die knowing.
or so i tell myself. hmmm.....^^
perhaps? .....perhaps that is all there is to love: hope?
whatever miniscule or shattering heartbreaking story there are, isn't it the loss of hope that we cried for? -but of course, the essential yet illusive ego that it drags along with it.


simultaneously, isn't hope that really gets us through the day?
hope for a good day, a better week, a car upgrade, a glowing skin from a good date?
doesn't hope give that extra spring on your every steps?
henceforth, allow me to conclude that hope is the heart beat of life... YEY!
err... hold on, where does that leave love then? errgghhh.


i truly hope love is more than just a haunting childhood bullies trauma that a strong reverse-survival-psychology dogma becomes necessary to be laid upon us by the society, over and over and over and over again, to make us believe that it does exist....
love does! it truly does -we just aint lucky enough to sums it in words
" -you just feeeeeeeeel it", wisemen says


of ALL the unidentified factors of this particular universe,
love.. brought me to prayers last night:

"Lord, i know i haven't visits You enough and i may not be in my place to ask this of You:
can You please please please safe guard my heart and send all my love to my parents?"

and i got this as an answer,
"How dare you? Who are you to say that love is yours?!"
............ ????



and suddenly it all made sense to my cudn't-careless-puni-head;
if love is not entirely ours to claim, to give away nor to pass on..
i suppose then.. love is given to us?

like how life is...

and children.
isnt children are given fruits of love, with a given form and shape, that were given life through mothers and hopefully fathers instead of merely lust, greed and rapist?

thats why we cant put a word to sums up love..

hold up, whose voice was that answer earlier even from? hiaaaaaa!


euff!
here is my little note to skeptical single men out there:
whenever you think you do feeeeeeeel love, please do not hesitate to seize the day..
seriously guys,
however enormous of an ego that you're trying to protect yourselves from,
it aint worth nothing unless u let it bleed fighting for love. at least thats where movie business make their doug. start making your movie!

if you're having a "NO" to pain thoughts just now? how about this:
no play - no gain = no gain - no pain.
practice DOES make perfect! in time you'd learn to heal faster.

just be tactic and allow yourselves to be a man.

and you might wonders why am i just hitting on the men?
lemme tell you a secret:
us women are relatively just suckers for this whole idea of l-o-v-e anyway.
it is a given constant hope in our bloodline since we are the bearers, the laborer and the nurturer of universe' unidentified factors. HAH!



for myself, i recently chooses life over love..
they, differentiates nothing to me as long as i have hopes



wassalam'ualaikum :D