(no title)

when i am meant to draw,
the urge is strong to write.
but my thoughts has not been linear lately,
and the words seems somewhat forbidden.

a reunion after 7yrs apart assumed im lonely (and needs sex)
fact is im just a loner with many shadows
hanging abouts when i took my eyes of him.
i have been spiritually challenged.

a reunion after 5 yrs apart caused many hiccups
invisible tears and silent screams reminds me
of values, hopes and love.
we have been emotionally challenged.

in my solitude reflections, im having
a reunion with many phases of my old self.
what has been learnt and to be learn..
and i wonder

if id ever be virtuous enough to not have to feel
emotionally challenged
if id ever be wise enough to not have to fight
spiritual challenges

in the nakedness of my humanity,
i long for my sweetness.
where my presence in his life challenges him to
learn, to
hope, to
love.

in my loss i am still too scared to draw.
anymore cumulative energy here,
arouse the shadows even mjavascript:void(0)ore alive.
i don't know if id ever be ready for this..

or perhaps, like everything else,
it is just meant to be?